Melodramtic Drowning

It's been a while since I last wrote, a long while actually.

As usual life has been busy and I just haven't been able to keep up. So many things have happened in not even a year and I don't know where the time went. One minute I was writing, plowing through draft after draft. They weren't that good but I loved them, I loved writing, I was happy and then all of a sudden the joy died. I always thought that writing would be everything, that I would always live and breath writing and yet a year has passed and I've barely written a word. I want to write. Writing has always been my way of breathing and I'm suffocating. It's not a lack of desire, I want to write I want to breath life into my story, my characters. Yet, when I sit down and look at the screen or paper, begin writing one word it's gone. There are no words. I clearly see what I want to write, the character arcs are there the details are there but the words aren't.

Since I published my first book A Daughter's Fury and shared it with the world. Mainly my family anyway, well this is finally when they bothered to read it. It was a friend of my sister who read it and reported her findings to my sister. My sister isn't that big of a reader, she does read but I guess not my genre. Anyway she's telling me what her friend thought, positive but apparently there are holes in my story. I guess beyond the obvious wholes of it being the first book in a series where all the questions aren't meant to answered yet there are more hole. My sister has no idea where the holes are or what they are about, so helpful, I am grateful though. Now I know at least one person beyond my friend/editor read the stupid book. A little while later my sister asks if she thinks I could make the book better. At this point honestly I'm sick of ADF I just want to move on with Alex's story.

Over a period of months, I'm working on draft after draft of the sequels and have half a dozen versions of each book. Little ideas start popping up about how I could've done things in ADF. I ignored them and ignored them until one massive idea popped into my head and I couldn't say no to it. So I gave in and started rewriting ADF, this of course led to another half dozen half finished drafts and the empty hole inside me now.

As much as I like to blame things on my sister that isn't the only thing that I believe led to my current state. In psychology there is a thing called Intrinsic and Extrinsic. Intrinsic basically means something you do for yourself. Extrinsic is something you do for others or the world. The example that I learned about this and that I relate to one hundred percent to is this:
Jill works at a grocery story. When she isn't working, she's at home baking. She loves to bake and try new recipes and bring treats to people at work since she can't eat them all herself. At work Jill ends up now working in the bakery and bakes for a living now. When at home she doesn't bake nearly as often anymore.

The explanation behind this is that baking at home is Intrinsic for Jill it's something she does for herself that she loves. But when she starts baking for her job and money it turns into Extrinsic.
The connection I see between Jill and myself is that when I began publishing my books, giving myself deadlines for publishing the next book and wanting to make money off of them and not making any money. It turned my love for writing for myself into wanting to write for the world. I have no idea if that can actually cause writing muteness. Could be as simple as I'm in college full time, have a job and at the end of the day I'm simply exhausted.

All I know is that I am never as fulfilled as when I spend an hour to a day writing. Finishing an assignment or a shift at work is simple relief of surviving. Writing was everything, and I can't help feeling that it's turned it's back on me and is gone. It sounds so stupid and silly but writing saved me and now I feel like I'm drowning but writing isn't saving me anymore.

Melodramatic I know but aren't we all deep inside.

Thanks for reading.

Taylor

Should I or Shouldn't I

Hello again,

Hey all it's been a while and I've been busy and scatterbrained. Mainly scatterbrained; jumping from story to story to different drafts all trying to tie together the A Daughter's Fury series. Working on the second book in the series only to get stuck over and over. I would switch to the third book which was helpful as it gave another point of view to what and who was needed in book two. I would have a break through go back to book two continue writing coming from a different angle only to get stuck again. Over and over. I am living the definition of insanity. Let me tell you it is not an enjoyable experience. 

Every time I talk to someone they ask how my book is going and I have to think about what book I was working on the last time I talked to them. Of course, at that point I was working on two books and like four different drafts, not to mention the drafts I started in my head but not yet put to paper. Fun times. 

While I was trying to nail out a first draft to book two I start to wonder about book one (which is already published) about what I could have done differently. It started with one "oh I should've done this instead" then I would shake my head and try to forget about it. Because honestly ADF was published and I was sick of its face. I love Alex I do but if I have to read one more draft of her first book I might lose my mind. Of course, more and more ideas start coming to me. Old scenes that I originally created (that I hadn't even written done) start to pop up. Thus, the great debate begun.

Should I or Shouldn't I.

With this more avenues begin to open or as I say I started falling down the rabbit hole, again. What if I redo ADF, maybe then I could try traditionally publishing. I tried this before but failed and stopped trying and self-published. I love self-publishing its great I have complete control over everything but how many people buy my book. However traditionally publishing is the Holy Grail. Only those who have been traditionally published and were burned despise it. For the rest of us it is The Dream. 

I also thought about continuing self-publishing and just re-publishing the new version of ADF. That would be great I could reach more readers and still have my current readers. 

Of course, that's hinging on whether or not I do rewrite ADF.

Why I shouldn't.

Because failure sucks, failing at the same thing twice sucks more. I might alienate my readers by changing ADF (even though in my mind it would be better but not everyone would agree) I would be confusing people with the second book if they didn't read the new update. Not to mention I was planning on publishing book two this fall. If I take the time to redo ADF then book two would be postponed until spring/summer of 2019.

Thanks for reading RawLitCom: True Confessions of an Aspiring Author

Sincerely,

Taylor

One Year Annivarsary

Hello,
I cannot believe it has been a year since I first published A Daughter's Fury. To be honest it feels like I published it last month, not one year ago. How time flies I'll never understand. Many things have happened in the last year; I published the prequel to ADF, I've been writing the sequels and rewriting them (trust me it was necessary). In five short, short months I plan on publishing the second book. Now that's a terrifying thought!

One year ago I was terrified of pushing that tiny little "publish" button but I did it anyway. To be honest, after proofreading that novel 24/7 for several weeks I was sick of it and never wanted to read it again. Then I discovered Smashwords a wonderful self-publishing site that distributes to almost all major sellers; Barns and Noble, iBooks, Kobo, Overdrive. To name a few. I had to reformat for Smashwords and I also got a paper book edition up and running on Amazon! Yay!

When I look back it feels like, like my dreams did come true. Before at the moments when my dreams came true, I was exhausted and cranky so I didn't appreciate the moment. I hope I can appreciate the moment when I publish the sequel. Probably not though, I'll probably be worst off than I was with ADF.

Moral of the story publishing is a moment of relief because I can finally shelve that one project. The one year anniversary is when I really appreciate and enjoy the accomplishment of getting that book done!

I really do enjoy the last parts of publishing. Figuring out a kick-ass summary, finding an awesome cover that somehow shows the soul of the story, and of course being able to sleep at night and not fretting over the plot line and character arches. Oh, what a wonderful feeling!

I couldn't have done it without the support of my parents, without my best friend who read whatever I threw at her, my sisters a constant loving support. Thank you so much!

To my readers who took a chance and read A Daughter's Fury and Fire VS Fire, you'll never know how much it means to me to see them being read. Thank you!


Thanks for reading RawLitCom: True Confessions of an Aspiring Author

New Cover

Hello,

I am so excited about this new cover for A Daughter's Fury! It is wonderful. I present to you:

Everyone has secrets. Who knew I had so many.  
Battle scarred seventeen-year-old Alexandra is an orphan and runaway. She's been scouring the country hunting for her father’s killer. Approached by a man, spinning tales about Athena, the Greek Goddess, he claims Athena is her estranged mother. He tells her of a place that can hold off the attacks on her life. Out of desperation she agrees to go. While settling into the Sanctuary of the Heroes with new friends and her half siblings, another hero is found. Alex and two companions are sent to St. Louis. A city Alex swore never to step foot in again. Finding a hero in a big city is no easy task. Alex will make contact with old acquaintances for assistance along the quest. When the hero is found, new troubles arise. Alex must now enlist the help of her lost love to save the hero. With betrayal, hate, and love thick in the air, can the hero be saved? Will Alex ever learn the truth behind her father’s death? 


Available here on Amazon as an ebook, coming soon to Smashwords and coming to print on Amazon!  

 

Coming Soon!

Hey all,

Exciting news, Fire vs Fire the prequel to A Daughter's Fury will be releasing soon!

Before A Daughter's Fury, Alex went by Kat.

Escaping Chicago and the Antonoly family was bad enough, Kat knows there's a price on her head but she's on a mission. After witnessing her father's murder, Kat is consumed with vengeance. She needs to clear a path to continue her mission.

Stay in St. Louis isn't about locating and getting rid of assassins but rather a chance meeting at a diner. Kat has a plan and meeting Nathan isn't part of it. A man with green eyes that can see into her soul. Kat knows she needs to stay away but she can't.

Nathan isn't just a pretty face with a killer smile, he has his own secrets and a past filled with pain. Nathan knows he's fighting a ghost but he's committed to stealing Kat's broken heart and healing her fractured soul.

Time is running out; Kat's past is on the verge of catching up with her. Is Nathan's love enough to heal Kat or will vengeance consume her whole?

It will be releasing on Amazon and Smashwords for FREE.

Basics of a Second Draft

Hey all,

Recently I completed the first round of a drafting cycle. I am now working on a second draft. My first, second draft using a new and improved method. My old method, I used while writing ADF. My goal was to write the perfect manuscript in one draft, then do minor tweaking in second and third drafts. Idealistic? Not at all.

I learned from my mistakes and over hauled my first draft goals. Now that my first draft is done, it's time to continue building the foundation. I literally just have the basics down. I'm planning the second draft to be expanding the major details and events that transpire. Really getting those building blocks out there. So that the next draft, I can focus on minor details, and turning words into a story. I like to compare drafts to the process of building a house. You have to have the foundation down before you can do the framing, you need the framing before you can put up walls, and a roof. Then the final draft be all about painting and decorating. The final touches are what make a story pretty, but it has to be solid and strong first.

Everyday I learn something new. My writing improves, my ideas, and my goals. I am definitely learning as I my journey continues.

The good news is, is that when I begin working on my next project I"ll have figured some of this second draft stuff out.

Hopefully.

It is a possibility that I'll remain clueless.

All for now. Sincerely,

Taylor

Thanks for reading RawLitCom: True Confessions of an Aspiring Author

Improvements and Goals

Hello again,

For the past five months, I've been writing in drafting cycles. I'm still in the first cycle. Meaning I've only written first drafts and haven't moved onto second drafts.

Book One draft one - Done
Book Two draft one- Done
Book three draft one- Work in Progress
Book One draft two- Hasn't begun

Today I wrote over two thousand words. When I was done, I looked at the words written and pages completed. I noticed my word count- for my half-finished draft- was similar to that of my completed first drafts. Going through the two first drafts that I've written in the last few months, I collected data I considered relevant. Word count, chapters, pages, and time writing.

 

Data	Book One	Book Two	Book Three (incomplete)
Word Count	36727	27287	27722
Chapters	20	14	14 (out of 31)
Pages	146	108	117
Time	40.5 hours	46.7 hours	38 hours

Something that I noticed is while my time writing hasn't improved. The ability to turn my basic plot line details into a full chapter has improved tremendously. My plot lines are broken down by chapters.

Chapter One- Annie is in the park. She meets Daniel.
Chapter Two- She's troubled by the darkness surrounding Daniel. Issues with Annie's family increase.
Chapter Three- Annie sees Daniel again. She's still troubled by the darkness, but inexplicably drawn to him.

Sometimes I have more details sometimes I just have two words. I have to take that and turn it into 2,000 to 3,000 words. Which is why I'm proud of myself. I'm strengthening my imagination and building myself into the writer I aspire to be. I was telling this all to my best friend and faithful supporter Marie. She also keeps me honest about keeping to my writing goals. I was telling her about this and what I'd have to do in the second drafts to get my word count to where I want it. Explaining that one day I want to be able to do what I do now in two or three drafts and be able to do it in one. It would be amazing. To build a world, characters, have sensory details, and the main plot line done in one draft.

Now that ladies and gentlemen is the dream. Maybe a bit lofty but, since I'm already aiming for the improbable. Let's go for the impossible.

Thanks for reading RawLitCom; True Confessions of an Aspiring Author.